How Writing Calmed My Bi-Polar Disorder

In an earlier post, I mentioned my life changed when I read the first 3000 words I’d written of my soon-to-be novel—though I didn’t realize quite how much. While I didn’t really notice it at the time, others saw clear changes in my normal (I use this term loosely) behavior.

Few people know that from an early age, I suffered from depression, which would later be diagnosed as bi-polar disorder. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, my mood would dramatically shift. One day I would be calm and steady, and the next I would be riding on a cloud, bordering on giddiness. Then the lows would hit. I’d become quiet, sedentary, weepy and sullen. Over the years, a wide range of medications were prescribed for me—some more effective than others. Those were difficult days for my wife to understand. Luckily for me, she was supportive and knew to lay low during those down times.

Interestingly, there were no mood fluctuations during the first several months after I started writing. Everything remained on an even keel. One close friend, who suffered from the same malady, asked me if I had changed medications. I came to understand my “steadiness” was a direct result of the effects writing was having on me.

When I next visited my doctor, I filled him in on what was happening and asked to get off the meds. He said to give it a year and if I had no recurrence of the symptoms, I could wean myself off. We waited. It’s been more than a year now and I am free of symptoms—and taking no meds. And I’m much happier than I used to be.

How about that?

Ironically, the only way to prove my writing is responsible for the shift is to stop writing. But I don’t intend to do that for a very long time . . . .